Okay, I shared my newfound passion for video blogging and getting out and about at the local restaurants in Beijing and commenting on them.

So this new passion has grabbed some of my attention lately, and I have enjoyed doing it. I am shy at speaking to the camera in the restaurant, and it comes across in the video. That is fun. I need to get over that somehow.

You would think I could relax more because Beijing is a city where everyone is taking pictures, talking to phones using video and videoing stuff. It is a very tech minded city, so I should be putting that into my head to help me improve. To get over my hump on this thing.

Beyond getting past the shyness, the whole video blogging is a mammoth challenge. I have a newfound positive impression of anyone that is doing it and doing it well. Engaging with a camera, an audience, speaking and making some coherent sense is a skill.

This is not easy. 

The mind goes blank when I am doing it. The words do not come out naturally, and when they do, it is like a twelve-year-old speaking. I also end up being even more Glaswegian. It is painful and comical at the same time.

I feel like some cartoon character, or it feels like I am having an out of body experience. I keep seeing, in my mind’s eye, people that might eventually watch the video’s. I feel their comments or criticisms, which is daft. But it is the truth. That is what is in my mind’s eye, and it is off-putting, to say the least.

Speaking in public is everyone’s nightmare, and I have been practising it in recent years. In a sadistic way, I enjoy it. I had a speech challenge when I was younger, and so it is also a big hurdle for me to get over, but I am going for it. I want to improve on many fronts with this new passion – speaking clearer, clarity of mind, presentation skills, and being comfortable on camera.

I keep telling myself that it is a steep learning curve. It will be a year or two before I come even close to the image I aim for, so I tell myself to be patient. That advice is good, but it is a very visible learning curve when you are doing something so public. Your progression or regression is so public… (saying that I don’t have many followers or people that watch the video’s so I should chill out a bit more with this)

I am looking at other inspirations to see if I can pick up more techniques or insights.

I took time today to learn a few things on Linked-in learning and continue to do more. This has helped a lot because I am now looking at developing storyboards and video shoot plans for what I need for the finished video.

This beats just winging it, which is a terrible experience for me and the audience. Trust me – it is not pretty. 

So as I went through my day today, I was thinking about what else I could do to see if I could learn more. I had a day off work, so I decided to dig into more ways to learn.

I have been watching some television presenters, news reporters, and a few other well-known YouTubers to see how they do it. They are all so good at what they do… I began to have that niggling self-doubt of ‘I would never be able to do this!’

So I sneaked a look at their oldest videos, and it is clear that they have also been experiencing a learning curve. From their early videos to where they are now are very different. You can see how they have improved over time and how they have honed their individual skills and layered in their signature behaviours.

So it is natural. Keep doing the stuff, and you will learn and get better over time. That is the rule for anything that you want to get good at.

This gives me hope. Hahaha!

The other person I watched a lot of today on YouTube was Anthony Bourdain. His travel series was outstanding, and I got a new perspective by attempting to do a video blog. I realised how good at it he was.

He was a sad loss, and it is still tough to comprehend his illness and his final days even now.

I enjoyed watching his videos today, and his absence made the appreciating and learning more deeply consumable.

Learning with an emotional engagement is a whole new experience.

One that I am grateful for.

Anthony Bourdain, you are missed, and you inspire me to this day.

Rest well.

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