How not to care about what people think.

‘You don’t need to care about what people think, screw ’em!’

Ignore them because the reality is that they are not that interested in you.

You really need to get yourself into that place where you don’t care about what people think about you.

This is the reality. They are not watching you with any sinister reasoning. There is nothing behind any of the slight looks sent your way other than a passing curiosity. A fleeting moment of eyeball contact between you and them. That’s it. You can get over yourself on this one because, in this reality, you are not that interesting. 

Most people spend their time interested in their own life. They are buried in what is impacting them… you are just passing through that, and sometimes they don’t even see you.

This is something that I am only beginning to get my head around. In business and with all my previous day jobs, I would worry too much about what people would think about me. It probably held me back, and I am chilled about that because I can not change the past. I am dealing with this thing going forward, and I am much less worried about all of that, and I just get on with the day job. It is better that way. The caution has been thrown to the wind, so to speak.

As for life in general, worrying about what people think is something we all have, well, most of us anyway. Some people just do not give a sh*t. I don’t mean this in the wrong way. I mean that they are not self-conscious but self-conscious. They have mastered the art of looking like they do not give that much of a crap. Some call it confidence; who am I to argue with that diagnosis. They are super confident people, coated in social anxiety armour, where things that would burrow into the deep conscious of others but would bounce right off them. The egoless but full of ego. Coolness.

I am envious of people like that, but they usually have other foibles that they are managing. It is true what people say ‘everyone is fighting a battle we do not see – so be kind to each other!’

The reason why the idea of not caring about what people think of you is topical for me now is twofold: 

One: I am doing video blogging, so I have to hold a video camera and talk directly into it in various places, in front of people. I was/I am concerned that I look stupid, and I also feel like I am breaking some rules of personal space and distance. I am actually a shy person at the core, so this is a leap into the unknown for me, but I will have to do it. I want to do it. I enjoy making video blogs, and life is all about learning new things and pushing yourself. So this is a journey for me. On each occasion, I successfully keep my bottle and execute a video blog recording, is another day that I build my confidence.

Two: My son is almost eighteen, he has been sheltering inside for the best part of a year, and now he is back outside and mingling with people. He is a confident guy, he is doing great, and I am super proud of him. But he is almost eighteen years old and he is conscious of himself, his looks and what people think about him. He tells me as much. I give him the auld fatherly advice about ignoring them and pushing on with what he wants to do, but I can see his hesitancy. I guess it will take time. I know it did when I was seventeen and three quarters.

This growing up together, father and Son, is satisfying, though. We are sharing something in common, and we are getting confidence from each other. I always wondered what I would have in common with my son as we grew up together but apart. But I would never have thought that we would be discussing the idea of being concerned with what people think of us in public.

I always thought I would teach him how to survive a zombie attack or sew up an arm wound, like Rambo. It is funny how real life turns out. I have to say, the reality is much better. This takes much more strength and guts. We both have to get over ourselves. We are not that important to others. 

We are, though, super important to each other.

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