An overwhelming missing!

I have been doing great. I had boxed off the no travel thing and accepted that I can not get back to the U.K. until next year. 

I have suitable coping mechanisms in place that involve creativity and achieving something through habit and small steps. It’s working.

I have managed my time efficiently, and in doing so, I have allowed time for life, work and happiness.

In ‘man coping with life challenges like a typical bloke’ kind of way, I have kept a lid on it.

But the lid unscrewed a little today, and some of the deep-rooted sadness leaked out. 

It was a subtle exposure. 

It was the most gentlest of moments that caused it. A father and his son coming out from the local cinema laughing and joking as they played invisible catch while walking down the shopping mall. It was beautiful to see and delightful to have shared it from afar.

It was a flashback moment.

I remembered every time gone by where that was my son and me. Instantly every hair in my body stood on end as the most electrifying sadness overwhelmed me. It was a crisp, refreshing sadness, and it shook me to my core. It was an oddly uplifting moment.

Thank god I have a cold, and I am wearing a mask because I could hide my reactions well. After a neck roll and some deep breaths. I was back, composed again.

I put the lid back on it.

But hear me with every ounce of honesty here.

If you are with your family today, hug them close. Lift your head from your phone and take an extended moment to talk. Laugh out loud at the stupidest thing, and don’t forget to tell them that you love them. 

Tell them to their face and mean it. Watch every crease in their eyes as they show their reaction and take note of everything that makes them unique. 

Note everything that makes them special to you.

Do it when you are present with each other and together as a family. Do it and closely observe the reactions because, do you know what, you don’t get to see that subtleness over FaceTime.

---