15 minutes of Twitter that took my night. My whole night and the next day!!
Well, I dipped in my toe and then immediately jumped back out. I had been off Twitter for most of the week. I knew to stay clear because I wanted to stay focused on my content creation for the week.
I was disciplined for all but a quick check on the hometown information.
I dipped in, checked on Scottish politics and then I was straight back out again. No messing.
Last night was different. I had a night off from creating content and decided to dip into Twitter and see what was topical. That’s what I tell myself about Twitter. It gives me a feel for what is topical. It’s a way to quantify why I am a user. I am bluffing myself with this excuse, but I know that and accept it.
I say user because that’s what it felt like. I am always dragged in like a drug addict. Reading and refreshing constantly. Each new tweet was adding something to the feeds flawed understanding of the world. I went from sports to politics via the mess that is Brexit. I loved some tweets and retweeted some and added in the tuppence of my views, and it made me feel fleetingly better.
I dug in deeper and time went by in a flash. I looked at my watch, and almost all of my night had disappeared… so I thought, feck it, I will keep going to see if I can get more feel-good hits or uncover some themes that really piss me off. And deeper down the rabbit hole, I went.
I called it a night at just after 10pm and then went to bed. Showered and exhausted from a long week, my head hit the pillow, ready for a good nights rest.
Not a fecking chance.
The crap that I had travelled my head through for the past three hours had rotted in deep. I couldn’t focus my mind on concentrating on getting to sleep. It wandered, and it argued with itself. Conflicting viewpoints and sidelined discussions took place all in one head.
Mine.
It continued throughout the night. Tossing and turning, staring at the apple watch clock. 1:36am, 2:48am, and the last look was just after 3am.
I got to sleep in the end. It was a lousy sleep that stole my energy for today. I now feel groggy, slow and I am probably going to lose some of my productivity for today.
I am done with Twitter. It is a place of extremes that dials into your own outlying views. I see it for what it is now, an echo chamber that amplifies your own demons.
My mental health is essential to me, and from now on, I will be more selective in what I put inside my body and mind.
This thought takes me back.
It’s is funny to think back on how correct my mother was in everything she said. Son, most things that are not good for you come neatly packaged in friendly and easy to understand literature. It will be simple and written in pretty pictures, but take the time to read the label and see the detail. You will be more selective in the things you allow yourself to get distracted by when you know that.
She was correct. She was talking to me on the morning after a youthful night out drinking fruit flavoured alcohol. It looked pretty and tasted good going down, but the next day… oh my goodness me, what a mess I was.
Lesson learned then, and similar lesson learned now.
A friendly, peaceful white bird in a blue background might look good, taste good going down, but it leads to a shit show of a sleep and the next day…
Well, you will feel like you have been savaged by a mad dog and that you have lost your 20/20 insight.
Awful.
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